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Winning vs. Taking: What Does Winning Mean to Abusive, High-Conflict and/or Personality Disordered Women?

Reblogged from A Shrink for Men:

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There's a new article on www.Shrink4Men.com that explores what "winning" means to abusive, high-conflict and/or personality disordered people. To an abusive BPD/NPD, "winning" is about taking from others, hurting and controlling them. Winning is not about working hard to achieve a goal. This explains why these individuals are rarely happy, even when they succeed in taking material assets, relationships and other tangible and intangible things from their victims.

Read more… 79 more words

Here's a site that takes tough relationship issues head on. You may not agree with everything Dr T says and you may not like her solutions but you'll have to admit she makes lot of sense. Too many marriages flounder along with heart wrenching conflicts hidden from general view (or so the participants hope) with neither party having the clues to escape the vicious cycles that are raging. It happens in Christian marriages just as much as in non-Christian marriages but the strong Christian taboo on divorce means many Christians suffer intolerably. Churches tend to take the view that the woman is always right and the guys need to be "men" loving their wives through every crisis. Dr T offers a balancing view - sometimes it isn't right and won't change (yet the guy isn't an abusive neanderthal who is causing all the problems by his selfish attitude . . .) Check out her site and see what you think - chances are you will gain valuable insights you can use.

Sliding, Not Deciding

Reblogged from Ezerwoman's Blog:

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My friend, Allie, has made an investment.  The cost is too great, she thinks, to disconnect from that investment.

Am I speaking about Allie’s financial affairs?  No.  I’m referring to matters of her heart and soul.  Allie is cohabiting.  She has invested the greater part of her very being to a man not her husband.  Why?

There are many reasons why Allie continues to live with her boyfriend. 

Read more… 1,032 more words

Ezerwoman has some awesome perspectives to offer on the trend towards "trial marriage." Check it out.

Condoms Are The Solution, What’s The Problem?

Earlier this year there was a conference which included serious consideration of how to address the problem of abortion for Christian women. Of course we’d like to deny this is a problem but then we are also likely to consider unfavorably a woman who felt she needed an abortion – single mother, cover-up adultery, dysfunctional family, date rape, unwanted children . . . Read the rest of this entry

If You Really Loved Me You’d Do It!

Last post left us with the dilemma of what to do with the guy on the end of the rope. On one hand we have the opportunity to prevent a person from destroying himself by his own action but the price of doing so means that we can no longer do anything else and are held as helpless captives. None of this results from a conscious choice we have made beyond our willingness to help anyone we can. Read the rest of this entry

The Absolute Truth on Finding A Partner

You have to love the clarity of thinking with kids. They see what we see but they call it like they see it. Adults learn to dance around  the truth but kids go straight to the jugular. Where do they learn all this stuff you ask?  From us! Read the rest of this entry

Are Small Groups the Mini-Me Church or the Real Thing?

How we answer this question reveals our understanding of what the church actually is: if we see the church as the formal meeting where a set series of events performed by appointed people must occur then we will try to reflect those Read the rest of this entry

The Thing I Miss Most In Church

As she sat in the auditorium with her friends her mind was in “wander mode.” There was a time when she used to hang on every word the pastor said and write notes and want to go discuss her ideas after the service. Church had connected for her back then.

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You’ve Won!!! How Will You Spend Your Mega Millions Winnings?

“My wife and I are 35 and 34 with three young children. We stayed up for hours discussing the lottery issue last night. Read the rest of this entry

What Does It Takes To Keep Your Man Happy?

She’d worked long and hard for what they had and she was enjoying it. The problem was her husband was restless. He’d done well in life and was well-respected but it wan’t enough. Read the rest of this entry

What Guys Don’t Get About Relationships

It takes a princess to transform a frog. Read the rest of this entry

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