Category Archives: Relationships

The Secret Life of David Petraeus

It was a harmless dalliance far from home. Who would know? Who would care?  A man has needs and you can hardly blame him for meeting them.

 

He was a prize, something no one else could get. Knowing him brought recognition and respect, securing his attention was a good thing so you can hardly blame a girl for using her natural endowments to get ahead in life. Read the rest of this entry

Help! My Kid’s a Pervert

James used to love hanging out with his older brother, Colin, although Colin usually resented having to put up with his kid brother going everywhere he went. Four years is a big age difference when you are thirteen and you kid brother is just nine. You have a lot more experience in the world and you know answers to questions that have never even entered his little mind. It feels good to be big. But the kid is a real nuisance hanging around all the time. One day, Colin struck on the ideal solution and he decided to teach James some new ways to play. Read the rest of this entry

How to Deal With Sexually Abused Kids

The reality is that sexual abuse (molestation as well as inappropriate sexual exploration) happens much more frequently than we care to admit or realize.  It’s an age-old problem but that doesn’t make it an easy one to solve.

Many kids survive without any help at all  – with impacts later in life – keeping their parents blissfully unaware of what has happened to them.

Parent’s tend to over-reaction, allowing their fears to drive them and yet they also feel awkward and under-qualified addressing sexual issues so they flounder when it comes to providing effective support. They are not alone, counselors  also find this difficult and in some cases do more harm than good. Obviously we can solve all this with a single blog post, right? Well maybe not in one post but at least some of the key considerations can be raised. Read the rest of this entry

How Jerry Sandusky’s Victims Inspire Me

They were molested by Sandusky at various ages and for a variety of times. We don’t have and don’t need a lot of details to understand that the experience was life-changing for these boys.

We don’t know that much about their families and other experiences in life but the impression is that mostly their families were less than ideal. They have baggage from that too.

Add the passing of time and the years of covering up and denying what they had experienced at the hands of Sandusky;  add the usual cocktail of self-blame, uncertainty in relationships, secrecy, experimentation, having other vulnerable kids around them . . . and it’s not hard to see that what Sandusky started took on a life of its own. The effects continued and grew. Read the rest of this entry

Winning vs. Taking: What Does Winning Mean to Abusive, High-Conflict and/or Personality Disordered Women?

Reblogged from A Shrink for Men:

Click to visit the original post

There's a new article on www.Shrink4Men.com that explores what "winning" means to abusive, high-conflict and/or personality disordered people. To an abusive BPD/NPD, "winning" is about taking from others, hurting and controlling them. Winning is not about working hard to achieve a goal. This explains why these individuals are rarely happy, even when they succeed in taking material assets, relationships and other tangible and intangible things from their victims.

Read more… 79 more words

Here's a site that takes tough relationship issues head on. You may not agree with everything Dr T says and you may not like her solutions but you'll have to admit she makes lot of sense. Too many marriages flounder along with heart wrenching conflicts hidden from general view (or so the participants hope) with neither party having the clues to escape the vicious cycles that are raging. It happens in Christian marriages just as much as in non-Christian marriages but the strong Christian taboo on divorce means many Christians suffer intolerably. Churches tend to take the view that the woman is always right and the guys need to be "men" loving their wives through every crisis. Dr T offers a balancing view - sometimes it isn't right and won't change (yet the guy isn't an abusive neanderthal who is causing all the problems by his selfish attitude . . .) Check out her site and see what you think - chances are you will gain valuable insights you can use.

Exterminator Arnold Rips Off His Scabs

What’s with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Isn’t making a huge fool of yourself once enough for him? Maybe he enjoys trashing his family, turning his knife in their wounds while he makes a desperate attempt to get back into the limelight.

Read the rest of this entry

Here's How to Help A Child Who Has Been Sexually Abused by Another Child

Reblogged from CHASE:

The last thing we want to hear as a parent is that our child has been sexually abused.  This was the one thing that I thought I so carefully guarded my children against.  I told them not to talk to strangers and I told them if anyone ever tried to touch them in the places where their bathingsuits covered tell them to go away and then tell me. 

Read more… 738 more words

Here's an important part of parenthood we hope we will never have to deal with. It brings to the surface our own insecurities and inadequacies and brings us face-to-face with the vulnerability of our family members and ourselves when we recognize that "kids will be kids" is not a healthy way to deal with abuse. Vivian Sharpe raises a scenario which reminds every parent of the need for constant vigilance. We can learn from how she handled her son's experience and from the way she handled herself to focus on his well-being. What would you have done?

The Price of Free Speech

Everything we do carries a price tag of consequences. Free is not so free after all. Take the case of this lunatic video trailer which is tearing the Arab world apart – few of us have seen the actual video and odds are that very few of those protesting across the Arab world have seen it either.  Read the rest of this entry

The Benefits of Brawling

How ever did we arrive at a national philosophy of antagonism? We could elect people to office based on their ability (potential) to actually solve problems but prefer to have two parties that are obliged to Read the rest of this entry

How to Pick the Good News Out of the Bad News.

I had lots of burning questions and I wanted to know all the right answers. Things were happening to me that I couldn’t understand. They’d told me it was easy to follow Jesus and that he wanted me to have a life of “abundance and freedom.”  I hadn’t seen that. Read the rest of this entry

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