How To Ruin Christmas And The Holidays
Here’s an article obviously written by a masochist or a sadist. I do know that anyone following this advice is risking their worst Christmas ever! Yet after all has been said and the recovery is underway, he may have a valid point which only someone stupid enough to try what he suggests could prove.
Check out the article and then decide whether this author
a) is single;
b) is very inexperienced in life,
c) has a death wish,
d) plans to be single very soon
e) suffers from a debilitating social disorder
Fat around the waist is a particular risk factor for health problems
“Christmas may be a time of indulging for many, but health experts believe it is the perfect time to tell a loved one they are overweight. [Apparently the local hospital is short on patient count and this is their latest idea for drumming up some business!]
The National Obesity Forum and International Chair on Cardiometabolic Risk said it was important to be upfront because of the health risks. Being overweight – particularly around the waist – increases the risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke.
But a poll by the groups suggests too many people shy away from the issue. [There’s a big surprise!] The survey of more than 2,000 people found 42% of 18 to 24-year-olds would not tell a loved one they should lose weight because of a fear they would hurt the other person’s feelings. For those aged 25 to 44 it was just over a third, while for older people it was about one in four. Men find it hardest to tell their partners, while women were more worried about bringing up the issue with a friend.
But with families and friends getting together up and down the country over the festive period, the experts believe there is an opportunity that should not be missed.”
Part of the reason we struggle with stuff in life is because we will not say clearly the things we really feel. We don’t speak the truth and instead we say what we think others want to hear. That might be great for keeping the peace but in the end it is a terrible way to help another person see something that needs change or to help them wrestle with a problem which is really hurting them. It takes a special kind of faith to speak the truth – and an incredibly rare skill to speak that truth in love so that it is heard and empowers another person to take the risk of change. So much of what we say is “speaking the truth” is really just us pushing our opinions on somebody else and so much of what we call “speaking the truth in love” is actually just us behaving outrageously and wondering why people can’t be made tougher (yet if someone said those same things to us we’d be crying and acting the part of a victim!)
Can we say these things and get away with it? Beats me! Sometimes it is a no-win situation. Should we say these things? A lot depends on our relationship with the other person and our history with them. Should we listen to the inner voice that says “Shut up?” Maybe – we each must judge that on our own.
We want the best for each other and with the alarming obesity rate in our nation we also need to recognize that too much good is bad. We do need to remember that people who are struggling with obesity generally know it and don’t need to be told they have a problem. They do want to be understood and they are often open to the help of an understanding person. (Help is different from enabling harmful behavior to continue.)
There’s good advice and there’s bad advice. There’s bad advice that sometimes works out. And there’s good advice that anyone but a fool would run away from as fast as possible. This whole telling the truth thing is as much art as it is knowledge. We each have to learn when to speak up and what not to say. There is a time for everything, both speaking and maintaining silence; wisdom dictates which course to follow.
Here’s some other conversation starters to get the family interacting this year: Tell someone they are ugly; or obnoxious, or just plain stupid. Once the words are out the family meltdown usually continues under its own steam. Expect to hear some strongly stated opinions about yourself expressed in return.
Can I trust that those closest to me will actually tell me the truth (in a way I can handle?)
Am I open to listening without defaulting straight into denial?
Am I learning how to say the delicate things in ways which can be heard as helping instead of hurting?
And above all, am I learning to be real in my relationships?
Health warning for clueless guys: If any female ask you, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” the answer must be given without any hesitation whatsoever and it is always a heartily resounding “No!!!!!” Never forget this; it is the key to a long and happy life.
Good luck with dealing with the truth this Christmas and if you say something to anyone, may you survive long enough to enjoy a happy new year!
Posted on December 24, 2011, in Self-awareness and tagged faith and reality, family conflict, Health, helping and hurting others, interpersonal relationships, obesity, Overweight, telling the truth. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off.